good morning...

sabtu and minggu kemarin selama 2 harian penuh dengerin lagu2lamanya Dian Piescessha(i hope aku gak salah nulis namanya)..dan aku jadi ingat jaman dulu waktu masih smp, cinta pertamaku...

namanya Yerimia Andrianto Muhadi, 1 tahun di atas aku, anak laki2 dari pendetaku, merangkap guru agamaku waktu di SMPN I Papar. kakak kelasku plus teman gerejaku. anaknya cakap, tinggi putih...mirip bule kalau kata teman2ku. i love him until i graduated from SPK(can u imagine that??selama 6 tahun aku mencintainya..tanpa pernah berani mengungkapkannya). Dan waktu aku mulai hijrah k jakarta, aku masih menyimpan suka k dia, aku pikir mungkin aku akan gila kalau tetap seperti itu, makanya aku memutuskan menerima hans, pacar pertamaku(eh kedua sebenarnya-yang pertama waktu aku menimba ilmu in my boarding school) ...tapi ternyata waktu menunjukkan yang terbaik buatku..dia menikah tepat setelah aku 2 tahun hidup d jakarta. dan saat ini dia sudah mempunyai anak laki2, namanya kalau gak salah ernest(good name). Dia dan keluarganya hidup di surabaya sekarang...

Setiap natal kadang masih suka bertemu, his profile still like that, tetap tampan, kurus dan putih..hanya yang membedakan..dia terlihjat lebih tua sekarang..sudah hampir 4 tahun tak melihatnya. kadang ingin sekedar hanya bisa melihat wajahnya...seperti apakah cinta pertamaku sekarang..hehe..silly thing to do!!!

my first love...how are you right now???

good morning...

i feel really bad today, there was happend yesterday...and i couldn't help myself to get the best way to make it easy. My fault was telling about my life this lately, and she(my best friend) was really concern about it, and she was staring at me(seems) until afternoon just to make sure that i wasn't go with him that day!!!

GoSH.... the problem is, i can't forgive myself that make him wait and wait...He was angry too, and today i am afraid to call him just like our day as usual!!! Maybe this is a good thing, that i am not connect with him again, but...can i???(BIG question in my head!!)

and you know what!!!!last night i just one step before i burnt(past from burn-i hope i am not make mistake spell it) my home, in it me and my baby just slept. Thank's God, i wake up just before that kompor gas and sayur yang gosong blow up!!! our home full with gas yang menyesakkan!!!!thank's God.......i am really thanksfull, that u still take care of me and my fam(although i am a sin....thank's God, i just realize today how big your love for me and fam-and how could i make you always sad-forgive me GOD....)

I am a sIN....forgive me God!!!

morning...

today i will trying to write my blog in english..just try to practice.
long weekend, but i did nothing in my life, just repot with my baby, home working, ngurus husband..wuhhh...tired!!!

and today, i am asking to all my singles friends and d u know what they said about their activity when that long weekend, some of them went to karaoke, and some of them dugem(waaaaa...hiks a quite long long time not feeling that jedug jedug sound..hiks..miss it)but that's life!!!you already choose, and you have to take responsibility from your decision, and i decided to get merried and have to take all the consequences.

but the good thing is, today i lost 1 kg more of my weight...huhuiii...

and my mbak Mus, please get back home early..we need you to take care of our baby=(,
today i left my angel just with my hubby, can u imagine it!!i am not feeling okay leave her alone w my husband..but what can i do???i need to work, after long weekend i can't just say..i can't coming today boss!!and i feel gulity too if i am, not coming to work today!!!so...ready or not, my husband have to take care alone until this 12 noon..be strong ya sayang....

and, the good news, i got my period...thanks God. aku seneng banget!!!!